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The Simplest Way To Be Able To Grab A Brand New IPhone And Make Your Date Hate You In One Easy Step

Author : Kenneth Holland

Yes indeed, you actually can get a brand new iphone as well as make your girlfriend hate you in one simple step. Here’s how…

There is a expression that change is surely an inevitable element of living (and also In N Out Burger) and the easiest way we can recognize change is always to adapt to it.

And so it’s with a wistful heart that I say goodbye to my iPhone.

My iPhone 2G!!

Yup, it’s true. Following nearly 3 years it finally died on me right after the 12th drop. Saturday night while in the parking lot at Carlees Restaurant in Borrego Springs, CA (brief plug so I can get that beer comped which I skipped out on). I accidentally drop kicked it in to the Lexus sport utility vehicle beside me (apologies) then it plopped on the 30-year old asphalt. You know, the type of asphalt Godzilla would use to file his claws.


No worries I figured. This phone has been indestructable. I’ve dropped it many times before that…even down a flight of stairs…

Well on this occasion the gig was up.

I picked up my phone, strolled in to the restaurant, ordered that (totally free?) beer and began texting and Twittering like I usually do (not to mention I didn’t see any cute girls to deflect my usual brief attention span).

All was well and then it happened: My iPhone started acting funky…screen going blank and then turning back on and losing signal.


You know, the kind of ‘oh no’ you mutter in that quiet, halted tone essentially to yourself when you know you’ve truly blown it. The ‘cold shot up your spine’ sensation.

“C’mon….no. Crap. Turn back on. No no no no…..”

And then the phone came back on.

Ok…whew…that was close! It then made a weird buzzing noise, after which it began to heat up…quickly.

It then turned off.

It was then that I knew I'd at long last broke my phone. During my hurry in the damn parking lot to primp and preen before going in to the bar (which for a guy involves cleaning his nose area of foreign ‘objects’ and also putting breath mints in his pocket) I fumbled my phone into permanent oblivion.

An unfortunate moment for certain. Nevertheless it was Saturday evening and I wasn’t about to let this misfortune spoil my night. And now I had the perfect excuse to obtain the new iPhone 4!

See? Excellent! It all works out in the long run.

Then it hit me…

I don’t have a phone.

I cannot make a phone call.

I cannot send out a text message.

I cannot check my email.

I cannot update my Twitter.

I cannot post on Facebook.


So what can I do NOW???

I had to get myself together and quickly. I had a ‘date’ of sorts and so I had to ignore this terrible turn of events and get my head back in the game. Realizing that (most?) females despise us guys that love our gadgets I had to get my ‘I don’t need a cell phone because I’m right here with you baby’ game face on and quickly.

Yeah right.

I lasted approximately thirty-five minutes with her. The beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and my hands started to twitch. “Where’s the phone man?” my hands were saying to me. The discussion was spinning in my head…”It’s in the car. We don’t need the phone right now.”

“Bullshit!!” I could hear my hands holler at me.

“Is something wrong?”

My date. I looked up. Perplexed. “Was she speaking to me?”, I asked myself.

‘You seem pale Ken,’ she stated flatly. It’s almost as though she knew what was going to spill out of my mouth after that.

Frickin’ women are too damn intuitive.

I attempted to fake it…

“I’m a bit annoyed. I dropped and broke my iPhone”, I said with a measured tone. “I wanted to make an important call and I’m a little angry at myself. But…you know, I’ll just need to buy a brand new phone once I go back home. It was time for a new one anyways.”

“All right! I did it!” I told myself. I made it seem like it’s not much of a big deal and now we can have a fun evening together with each other.

And then she baited me. And that was it.

“Well great!! You’re on that cell phone constantly, sometimes I question if you remember that I’m actually here…you and this ‘Social dating’ fantasy-land crap!” she barked.

I couldn’t contain myself.

“Facebook isn't for dating!”, I exclaimed. “And neither is Twitter. And they're going to be the new email…you know…how folks will talk…it’s the way everyone will hook up to one another…it’s social media…it’s…it’s…damn! I need my iphone…let me try my phone one more time…I need to check my Gmail! Maybe it’ll work this time!!!!”

My words quivered in equal parts frustration and indignation. I mean, MY iphone was broken! That should trump any kind of plans until this tragedy is rectified.


“Freak”, she muttered at me while shaking her head. She almost seemed like she felt sorry for me and wanted to hug me…but that was my man-ego thinking.

“Where are you going?”, I asked. I understood darn well exactly where she was going. Anywhere where I, Twitter and Facebook wasn’t.

“Good luck with that search honey”, I said to myself while at the same time recognizing that I had no iPhone, as well as no date.

So off I went back to Carlees to get a beer and pay Tony the bartender for the one I don’t think I’m comped on.

I’m sure I would know someone there with at least a Blackberry I could borrow.

Author's Resource Box

Kenneth Holland is known as a Blogger and self-proclaimed Internet Chieftain who helps business owners and individuals develop a strong internet brand and can teach you how to set up a blog.

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Tags:   dropped iphone, broken iphone, cell phone

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Submitted : 2011-02-27    Word Count : 973    Times Viewed: 293